You are the product of your choices you make … and these are the choices that can change your life. Caroline Myss, the five-time New York Times bestselling author and internationally acclaimed medical intuitive talks about the three key choices that can change your life in this TEDx video.
You look around for answers but they are not easy to find. That’s because the answers are where you least expect. The answers lie within. There’s always a story, with ups and downs, plots and twists, reasons and complexities.
The Power Of Choice
Choice is the fundamental power of the human experience. The choices you make – big or small – have infinite consequences. But most people don’t realise what is a big choice and what is not.
What you consider big choices – like buying a new house, getting married, divorce – are in fact less important.
What you might consider small choices – regarding your health, healing or empowering yourself – are the ones that really matter. These are in fact the significant choices that can change your life and have a major impact on your biology, psychology and your sense of identity.
The Fear Of Making Choices
We are born knowing that choices are powerful. That’s probably the reason why we are so terrified of choices and being accountable for them.
Many people remain in a state of “chronic chronic-ness” by making poor choices or making no choice at all. The result is a lingering feeling of confusion, depression and self-pity.
“Nothing makes me happy. I complain all the time. Aching and exhausted, is how I feel. I almost like my life but I don’t. Can I love someone? Almost, but not really. I almost feel loved but I only I think I feel it.”
We’ve all been there, felt that at some time or the other in our lives.
Three Key Choices That Can Change Your Life
1. Decide to live a life of integrity
Life isn’t fulfilling if you don’t live it on your terms, doing the things you believe in. It’s also important to speak your truth. Don’t compromise yourself. If you find yourself in a compromised situation, find your way out. And you cannot force another person to be in a situation that you know they’re uncomfortable in, just to please you.
Remember that lies (and liars) don’t heal. Dishonest people, people who have moral crises, people who blame others or their childhood for the things they do or people who deliberately hurt others – you can hide it from others, but your body, mind, heart and soul know that you did wrong. So stop blaming others and make a decision to live a life of integrity.
2. Decide to pass on the wisdom, and not the suffering
Personal loss, financial problems, illness, betrayal – there can be countless reasons for your grief and pain. You have to choose whether you want to pass on your suffering to others or the wisdom you have gained.
Life will never be fair. The grief and injuries that people experience are really terrible. Can you say “I am hurt … but I will not be defeated.” Make the choice not to wallow in the suffering but to spread your learnings and insight, so that others may benefit.
3. Decide to take risks
When you fall ill or feel that life is diminishing, you will have regrets. You will always dream about the life you wished for. We fail to take risks because of the fear of being humiliated for our choices, we fear the consequences.
Look back at your life and see how many of your greatest fears actually came true. And conversely, of the many wonderful things that have happened to you, what was your role in getting them?
Tips To Make The Choices That Can Change Your Life
1. Embrace newness
Don’t be stuck in the past. That part of your life is over. You’re not that person, you’re not in the same space now. Life is evolving, bursting anew every second. Dwelling in the past only makes you long for things that are no longer relevant to the new you.
2. Celebrate life
Get up every morning and bless your day. Even if you don’t know what’s in store, bless your day, simply because you are alive. There’s never going to be another day like this day. Isn’t it mysterious and miraculous? This choice alone can take out every bitter taste that there is. It can fill your life with such grace and beauty that you only see the present with gratitude.
- What choices are you hesitant, scared or insecure about making?
- How do you feel after making a difficult choice?
- Which of your past experiences are keeping you from moving forward in life?
- What did you dream of doing, but were afraid of taking the risk?
- Make a list of 3 words that you will never, even speak again? (Each word eliminated means putting away a certain negative emotion out of your life.)
- What are the words you say to yourself? Think how powerful these words are and what impact they may have – on your decisions and actions
Adapted from a TEDx Talk on Choices That Can Change Your Life by Caroline Myss.